You have to remember the post office has had a lot more experiences in vague excuses than we have. Our newspaper is the oldest continuing business in the county. The post office is the oldest in the nation, maybe the world.
Nevertheless, we did our usual thorough investigation and want to report this is not our fault.
If we could drop off our Sunday papers at the post office on Sunday, you would get your paper Monday. The post office is closed Sunday.
We used to drop off our bundled papers behind the post office on Sunday. Holtville Postmaster Victor Sparlin said he had to end that practice.
Thieves ripped open the bundles to steal papers. If a wind whipped up, it blew the news all over the neighborhood, giving new meaning to Bob Dylan's "Blowing in the Wind."
Sparlin told us the post office can't deliver the papers until we bring the papers to him. Our excuse is we can't take the paper to Holtville until we create it each day.
But we can guess why sometimes you do get it the same day. Once in awhile cosmic forces unite to make a miracle.
Our delivery people may get the bundles to the post office earlier than usual and for whatever reason, the rural mail carrier may get a late start. When that happens, enjoy!
CURE FOR BARKING DOG — I will give you a remedy for a barking dog. Put it to sleep! — Light Sleeper, Imperial County
You sound like a barker to us and we wouldn't put you to sleep. We do know some dog enthusiasts who might consider it.
QUESTION: I saw a little bench that I like very much. It's comfortable for a short person.
I asked the people with the bench where they got it. They said they got it from a man in a truck with furniture.
They said he goes all over the Valley. Would you ask your readers if they know who this man is and how I can locate him? — Benched, Imperial County
OK, readers, do you know a man who sells furniture out of his truck? If you know, leave the answer on our PROBE line at 337-3448.
QUESTION: I was in Russia recently. One of my students wrote me a letter in Russian. I don't read Russian. Do you think there's anybody in the Valley who could translate the letter for me? — Pen Pal, El Centro
Anybody out there who reads Russian? Would you be willing to translate a letter? If so, call us (337-3448) and we will pass along Pen Pal's phone number.