A Harvard economist has determined the downturn in the nation's economy can be traced directly to the Imperial Irrigation District's installation of the German-made SAP computer software system a few years ago.
"We're not surprised," said Paula Jacques Tortellini, a spokeswoman for Imperial Valley farmers. "We have been saying for years that the SAP system was the root of all evil, responsible for everything from higher IID water prices to the whole ‘boy band' sensation. Now we have our proof."
Harvard economist Han Me Yen said while it might seem to be a stretch to connect the installation of one computer software system in a rural irrigation district to the drastic dip in the greatest economy in the world's history, it is not a reach if one has enough money donated from certain sources to fund his research.
"Here's how I determined it worked," Yen said. "The installation of SAP at IID ASAP COD BYOB drove up the price of water a little bit in the Valley, which made the price for crops from the Valley that feed pigs slightly higher, which made pork farmers buy less pig feed, which made confidence in pork bellies go down because there was less in the bellies of pork, which hurt confidence in the entire commodities market, which then hurt confidence in Wall Street, which made Donald Trump's comb-over curl up before it reached its final cranial destination.