Well, I've decided to leave the Valley. I don't feel very welcome, and anyway, the sun spends the summer here, too. I'm leaving mostly because the bad boy Brusk brothers who live near El Dorado Road made me feel unwanted.
One day as I was driving down their street, I drove around the big pothole in front of their house. Suddenly Curtis Brusk shouted, "Stop!" So I did. He said I had insulted his family. I started to run, but bigger brother Jud Brusk came out of the house and said I had to give him $150. Then biggest brother Croller Brusk came out and said I'd be sorry that I'd ever drove around, tried to dodge, or otherwise slighted the rough spot. I paid.
So, I'm going somewhere else until this cools. I'll try to keep in touch.
P.S. Not that everybody in El Centro dislikes me, or Texans — many of the wonderful neighbors think very highly of me, so I won't leave them down. I'll be right back.