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Probe: Thursday, October 4, 2001

October 04, 2001

QUESTION: Can you do something about getting the San Diego Charger games on the local stations? I live too far out in the boonies to get cable. I can't afford satellite television.

Last week KWST-TV, Channel 13, based in Yuma, advertised all week that the Charger game would be shown Sunday. I bought carne asada and invited friends over to watch the game.

Instead of the Chargers, KSWT showed the Denver Broncos and the Baltimore Ravens. Those are not West Coast teams. Why didn't they give us the Oakland Raiders versus the Seattle Seahawks? At least those teams are on the West Coast.

After they ate my carne asada, my friends went home, leaving me alone to watch infomercials on the local channels. I listened to the Charger-Cincinnati Bengals game on radio.


Why don't the local channels wise up? There is a market for the San Diego Chargers in Imperial Valley. We're just 120 miles from San Diego! — Football fan, West Valley

You sure have some fair-weather friends. They eat your food and bail out when the Chargers don't play.

Well, invite them back. Make it a potluck. KSWT promised the Chargers will meet the Cleveland Browns on Channel 13 on Sunday. If they don't, at least you won't be out $15 or $20 for meat.

If they do, it will be the first of three Charger games in a row set for the Yuma channel. On Oct. 14, the Chargers will meet the New England Patriots. On Oct. 21 it will be the Chargers against the Denver Broncos. That might be worth another batch of carne asada.

We don't take credit for getting the Bolts on local television screens. The Charger fans did it. They called KSWT and raked those television boys over the coals.

We hear they're still spraying Lanacaine on their scorched torsos. You don't mess with Charger fans when their heroes are hot!

QUESTION: Has the law changed to allow minors in a bar? I have been to a country bar several times recently when there are more minors in the bar than people of legal drinking age? — Beer Drinker, Seeley

It depends on the type of bar and its license. In a restaurant that includes a bar, the kids may be in the bar area. You can sit the baby's carrier on the bar.

If it is a plain old bar with no food business, the kind with a sign "no minors" allowed, no minors are allowed. If you know underage youths are drinking in the bar, call the Alcoholic Beverage Control Board.

The "no minors" sign doesn't mean that nobody under 21 can come inside the facility, according to an ABC spokeswoman.

For instance, if a non-profit or fraternal organization runs the bar or is staging an event, youngsters can be in the bar.

Young workers age 18 or over could be there to do their jobs but not sitting at the bar. An 18-year-old could make deliveries or a plumber could bring in his underage helpers. That provision would include young musicians playing in a band. During breaks they would have to sit in a section away from the bar.

AND MOOD SWINGS — The deeper we get into the "new war," the more complicated it gets. Killing Osama bin Laden will create a martyr. Holding him hostage would inspire his followers to take hostages to bargain for his release.

I have another idea. Let special forces covertly capture him, fly him to an undisclosed location and have surgeons perform a complete sex change operation on him. Then we return her to Afghanistan to live as a woman under the Taliban. — Thinker, e-mail

That may be a war crime and the bin Laden crowd would haul us into court. But what the heck!

You forgot the hormonal implants that would make him grow rounded hips and breasts and with any luck suffer from PMS regularly.

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