When his brother, Dan, was rescued from a runaway horse, my sister asked if he remembered to pray while the horse was galloping away with him.
"No, I didn't," he replied. "I couldn't let go of the saddle horn to fold my hands."
I recently received this church humor from a relative.
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy replied.
His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up. Like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now will he let us go?"
After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied:
"That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home and I want to stay with you guys."
The Sunday school teacher asked, "Now Sammy, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Sammy replies, "I don't have to. My mom is a good cook."
Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Ky., a mother with a fidgety 7-year-old boy told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet.
"About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, ‘If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon all over again!'"
Terri asked her Sunday school class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.
"The flight to Egypt," said Kyle.
"I see … And that must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius the Pilot."